


The Bank of KaraBRAXos

by a_walking_shadow



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, I was writing another story, and this got written instead, goddamnit Brax, this wasn't supposed to happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 05:53:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16826473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_walking_shadow/pseuds/a_walking_shadow
Summary: The Doctor receives a phone call, summoning her to the Bank of Karabraxos. She doesn't expect the man who meets her there.*‘What the- but we only just got here! You can’t lock us up if we haven’t even done anything!’‘As a matter of fact, I can.’ The entire wall facing the corridor they entered from fades out of view, revealing the receptionist standing on the opposite side. ‘As per bank protocols, you, Doctor, are ours to imprison, should we choose.’





	The Bank of KaraBRAXos

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing you recognise.

Ryan frowns at the noise, digging through his pockets. ‘Hey, Yaz, is that your phone?’

She gives a slightly bewildered shrug in return, and both of them turn towards Graham, who looks just as confused as they are. But if it isn’t one of theirs, then that means-

‘Doctor, do you have a phone or something?’ Yaz asks, in the general direction of the hole in the central console. There’s no change in the quiet muttering coming from it, and a steady stream of wires, circuit boards, random alien crystals, and assorted other junk continues to be chucked out of the hole with reckless abandon, the debris littering the floor of the console room.

‘Doc? You with us?’ Graham’s attempt isn’t any more successful, perhaps because it’s drowned out by a cheerful ‘a-ha!’, the whine of the sonic, and the screech of metal tearing on metal.

‘Doctor!’

‘Ryan! Hello! Look! I finally figured out what was messing with the fluid links! I’m not sure how this even got in, though. Or what “this” is, to be honest. I suppose that’s a problem for another time. Why- oh, is that a phone? Do I have a phone?’

The Doctor scrambles for her coat, plunges her entire arm into a pocket which should only be a few centimetres deep, then pauses, frowning. ‘Unless- no. That wouldn’t make any sense.’

She walks towards the doors, circling them with the kind of cautious movements she usually uses when approaching a potentially hostile alien. Still cautious, she swings them open. Sure enough, the ringing is coming from the phone in the door of the police box.

‘Wait, is that a real phone? You disguised your ship as a police box, and then put a real phone in the door, just for good measure?’

‘It is, Yaz, but this is very worrying. Very worrying indeed. Almost no one has that number, and the last time it rang- it wouldn’t be her, surely, not after what she did on the Mondasian ship…’

Looking- if possible- even more concerned, the Doctor picks up the receiver.

‘Hello? ... Yes, it is. Who is this? … Really? Why? … Of course, can you give me a time other than as soon as possible? That’s not quite specific enough for me I’m afraid… Yes, of course. You can’t give me more details- no, of course. I suppose I’ll see you soon.’ Turning back towards the others, she adds, ‘well, that was odd.’

‘Who was it, Doc? Was it the person you were so worried about?’

‘What- no, no, nothing like that. It was the Bank of Karabraxos.’ Already, she’s striding back towards the console, setting coordinates.

‘The Bank of what?’

‘Karabraxos, Ryan. The Bank of Karabraxos. It’s the most secure bank in the galaxy, where the super-rich store their valuables. The thing is, I don’t know why they want to see me, and they wouldn’t give a reason. I don’t have anything stored there. Or at least I don’t think I do. Definitely haven’t set up an account in the past, although who knows about the future. I definitely haven’t tried to rob it yet, though. That definitely happened later.’

‘You tried to rob the most secure bank in the galaxy?’ Yaz can’t seem to decide whether to look impressed or horrified, and eventually seems to settle on exasperated.

‘Not yet I haven’t! And I was successful, I think. Memory’s a bit fuzzy, you know how it goes. Long-term memory’s always been a bit of a problem for me, but I’m sure it’ll come back eventually! Probably. Well, team? What do you say to a trip to the bank?’

She’s already pulled the lever to start dematerialising, though, so it’s not like they get much of a say in the matter.

‘Welcome to the Bank of Karabraxos. Please state your names.’

‘Hello! I’m the Doctor, and these are my friends Ryan, Graham, and Yaz. I was told to come here as a matter of urgency, although the woman on the phone didn’t say any more than that. Kind of bad customer service when you think about it.’

The receptionist glances up at that. ‘You are the Doctor?’

‘Yep! Hello!’

‘This way, please.’

‘You see, Yaz, the security here is absolutely brilliant. DNA checks on every door, and everything is monitored, from movement to air consumption. It’s impressive, really.’

‘I’m glad you think so highly of us, Doctor. In here, if you will.’

The room they enter is quite obviously a cell- bare stone walls, minimal facilities, and none of the opulence of the corridors outside. Graham is the last one in, and the receptionist swings the door shut behind him. Instantly, there’s the distinctive clank of several different locking mechanisms engaging.

‘What the- but we only just got here! You can’t lock us up if we haven’t even done anything!’

‘As a matter of fact, I can.’ The entire wall facing the corridor they entered from fades out of view, revealing the receptionist standing on the opposite side. ‘As per bank protocols, you, Doctor, are ours to imprison, should we choose.’

‘So you want me? Fine, I can buy that. I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation for whatever you think I did, but I get that you’re upset about something. But you don’t need to imprison my friends. Whatever this is, they’ve got nothing to do with it.’

‘You aren’t being held due to your own actions, Doctor.’

‘So you’re keeping me just because? On suspicion of interference? Worst possible thing you could have done, Ms- Delphox, is it?’ she asks, squinting at the name badge pinned to the woman’s chest. ‘Because if I didn’t want to interfere before, I certainly do now. And I’m not a big fan of imprisonment without due process.’

‘As I said, we have full right to imprison you, following from out protocols, even if we discover you had nothing to do with the events which occurred two nights ago.’ 

‘Doctor- there’s someone else in here with us!’

The Doctor, Ryan, and Graham all turn towards Yaz in surprise. Sure enough, there is a figure sitting on the bed in the corner of the room. The man is wearing an obviously high-quality suit, slightly rumpled as if someone had grabbed him and he had not bothered to straighten it out. His eyes are vacant, and he stares at the far wall of the cell, completely unresponsive, even as Yaz waves her hand in front of his eyes.

Eyes wide, the Doctor draws her sonic and scans the man, looking increasingly angry as she checks the results. ‘What did you do to him?!’

‘What we do to all attempted thieves, Doctor. The Teller detected the guilt in his intentions and liquefied his brain. That is, after all, why you have been brought here.’

‘and what do you mean by that?’

‘Scans indicate that this man is Irving Braxiatel. You are listed as his next of kin. Following protocol, you will be incarcerated alongside him, as a form of determent for other would be thieves.’

The Doctor spins back around, staring at the blank-eyed figure in shock. ‘You’ve got this wrong. He can’t be.’

‘Our protocols concerning thieves are quite well publicised, I assure you-’

‘No. Not that, although I definitely have problems with that idea as well, remind me to get back to it later. But this is not Irving Braxiatel. I don’t know who it is, but it isn’t him. It can’t be.’

Finally, Graham breaks the silence. ‘Next of kin? But Doctor, you said you lost your family a long time ago.’

‘In our records, Irving Braxiatel is listed as your-’

‘I did. And Brax- he died. Sure, this man looks a bit like him, one of him, at any rate. But what does that even mean, anyway? I used to look exactly like a power-mad Mexican despot, but that didn’t mean I was him!’ Yes, I’m the Doctor, and yes, Brax is my b-’

Ryan cuts across before she can get out the next word. ‘Woah, Doctor, did this Brax guy really look like him? Don’t tell me you were actually related to someone with a moustache like that!’

Yaz would roll her eyes at this, if the situation wasn’t quite so dire. ‘Thank you, Ryan, that’s clearly the most relevant point here.’

‘What? Just sayin’, I don’t think I’ve ever seen facial hair that bad in my whole life!’

‘ENOUGH!’ Ms Delphox practically has to shout to be heard over the commotion. ‘Doctor, you say this man cannot be Irving Braxiatel.’

‘Obviously.’

‘And yet, both biodata records and a memory scan completed before the Teller liquiefied his mind indicate that he is.’

‘Then clearly your records are wrong! Braxiatel died, centuries ago. He can’t be here now.’ She trails off, barely whispering, ‘he just can’t be.’

‘You are absolutely certain he is dead?’

‘Yes. He was killed in-killed in the War. I tried to find him, I really did. We may not have been close but he was my- well, does it matter? His timeline ended there, no matter what I did. He’s gone.’

‘Well’, a new voice says, ‘I do so love to be the bearer of good news.’

There’s complete and utter silence as they- the Doctor, Ryan, Yaz, Graham, and Ms Delphox- all stare at the new arrival. Then at the unresponsive figure on the bed. Then the new arrival again. Then the figure on the bed.

‘Quite the conundrum, I see’, the man who is presumably the actual Irving Braxiatel comments, mildly. ‘But I assure you, I am quite obviously not dead, nor am I unresponsive and in that cell after having been foolish enough to try and steal from this fine establishment. So perhaps if everyone involved could just get on with their lives, and forget this whole little incident, things would be much simpler, don’t you agree?’

‘So who might that be, then?’ Ms Delphox asks, jerking her head to indicate the figure in the cell. The new arrival gives a slight shrug, somehow managing to make the action look dignified. ‘I hardly think that is any of my concern. Surely your ill-intentioned visitor is your problem, not ours.’ Ms Delphox looks very displeased at this suggestion, but eventually comes to a conclusion, and gives him a slight nod.

The Doctor’s staring at the man like she’s just seen a ghost, and she doesn’t even react when Ms Delphox, with a great deal of reluctance, unlocks the cell. It takes a gentle nudge from Ryan to get her moving forward, lips moving soundlessly as she takes in the figure. He smiles, slightly. 

‘Hello, Doctor. Fancy meeting you here.’

‘Brax, you bastard. I mourned you!’

‘Well, that was a foolish mistake, wasn’t it? Come. Your TARDIS is this way, I believe.’

Graham, Ryan and Yaz share an awkward glance, before deciding that intruding on a private conversation is preferable to getting lost in a bank which has already tried to lock them up once. Just. With a final glance back at the unresponsive man in the cell, they hurry to catch up with the Doctor.

‘-er, you idiot, of course I cared about you! And you weren’t even going to tell me that you were alive!’

‘What can I say, I’ve been incredibly busy! And admittedly, my timeline is out of sync with yours. I really must be getting back now. I left Bernice in charge of my new crater, and Peter and Jack in charge of my pub, and I don’t particularly trust any of the three not to destroy anything important.’

‘You own a crater and a pub.’

‘But of course I do! What self-respecting gentleman doesn’t own a good piece of real estate, that’s what I always say. You should drop in sometime. Or perhaps you shouldn’t, not if I want to keep it in one piece.’

‘What happened to the art collection?’

‘You know, now that you mention it, I’m not entirely sure. I believe my future self is working on it. At least, I hope I am. I was looking forward to the slightly more substantial investment.’

‘On the subject of big investments… Are you really going to play the fool with me, Brax?’

‘I assure you, I’ve got no idea what you mean.’

‘Karabraxos. With your name right in the middle of it. Are you actually going to pretend you aren’t involved?’

‘If I was, why would you have just been called here to answer for me breaking into my own establishment?’

‘Oh, I don’t know. Some bizarre plot with about a hundred different layers, seventeen of which exists solely to soothe your oversized ego?’

‘…’

‘It is, isn’t it?’

‘You must understand, I needed to test the security systems! And who better to do that than the most cunning person I know?’

‘Yeah. As I said, seventeen layers solely to soothe your ego. Probably closer to thirty, if I’m being honest. Thirty-five. Forty, at a push. Still doesn’t explain why I got called here, though.’

Brax hesitates for a moment. They’ve reached the TARDIS, now, and Graham, Ryan and Yaz all slip past the two and head inside. ‘You don’t believe that I just wanted to see you again, Doctor?’

The Doctor stares at him for a moment, shocked. Then she smiles. ‘I’ve missed you too. See you around, I guess. Try not to get in too much trouble, that’s my job.’

As the TARDIS starts dematerialising, Brax adds, ‘also, I was in desperate need of some new flux capacitors. I hope you don’t mind me borrowing yours. They aren’t that important, are they?’ A moment later, the TARDIS begins shuddering wildly, and there are several distinctive yelps of surprise from within.

‘You’re the worst *BANG *CRASH* ever, Brax!!!’

‘I aim to please, *CRASH* *ROAR* dear!’


End file.
